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Dr. Mom & Dad
Back in the day
Drs. Frances and Harold Friedman
Katherine, born November 1963
Elizabeth, born May 1966
Theodore, born January 1968
Frances and Harold Friedman, who retired in 2003 after more than 30 years on the Dartmouth faculty, were both allergists; he was also longtime chair of the DMS Admissions Committee and is still a member of the committee. Both were themselves the children of physicians; her father was a general practitioner and his was a radiologist. And two of their three children have gone into medicine as well. Beth, their second daughter, a 1997 graduate of Dartmouth Medical School, is now an allergist herself in Rochester, N.Y., while their son, Ted, is a fourth-year resident in pathology at Emory University. Fran and Hal Friedman met when they were both residents in internal medicine at the University of Michigan. They had their first child during Fran's second year of residency, their second when Hal was in the public health service after he finished residency, and their third after Fran had finished her residency.
How did you manage a romance in the midst of
the rigors of residency?
Frances: We started dating in March, because
I remember he took me out to
dinner for my birthday in April. He proposed
in August and we were married in
December.
Harold: And she was pregnant by
February.
Frances: We didn't mess around! I had
my first child during residency, in my
second year—and they didn't have maternity
leave then. I had to go tell the
chief of service that I had to change my
vacation time from June to November.
We were looking at the board where our
schedules were lined up, and he said,
"This schedule is etched in stone." And
then he said, "Why do you need to
change your vacation time?" And I said,
"I'm going to have a baby in November."
He puffed away on his pipe and
said, "Let me think about this." He did
end up changing both my and Hal's vacation
time. I had the baby November
10 and went back to work December 1.
How did you manage having children
The chief of service "said, 'Why do you need to change your vacation time?' And I said, 'I'm going to have a baby in November.' He puffed away on his pipe and said, 'Let me think about this.' He did end up changing" it.
during
residency?
Frances: I think residency these days is
much more stressful. We didn't have the
acuity of patients in the hospital that
residents have today. We were on call
more, but we weren't getting two or
three patients every night who were at
death's door.
Harold: We were worked hard, though.
And in some ways, it was harder because
we didn't have the support system that
residents have today. We didn't have
day care at the hospital, for example.
You had to have someone in your home
or have a private babysitter.
Did you ever encourage—or discourage—your
children from entering medicine?
Harold: No. The two who went into
medicine both entered it fairly late.
Beth worked for publishers after college
at Haverford but realized that liking literature
and selling books were different
things. She was four years out of college
before she went to Harvard Extension
School to do her premed requirements.
Ted had been an economics major with
a Japanese minor and had a master's degree
in Japanese. He was 28 when he decided
to go to medical school and did
his premeds at Penn.
How was it having children and practicing when
women weren't as well represented in medicine
as they are today?
Frances: I never had the awful tales to tell
about being discriminated against. But
when I applied to medical school at the
University of Michigan, they always accepted
200 men. And then there were
spots for a few women—there were 12
women in my class.
Harold: There were 125 men and three
women in my class at the University of
Pennsylvania.
Did you have any particular strategy for managing
it all?
Frances: I had to institute a "parent of the
week" system so that I didn't always
have to be the one to make sure they
did their chores and homework or whatever.
One night, Hal was upset that the
kids weren't in bed. I said, "Aren't you 'parent of the week' this week?"
Mitchell, a 2006 graduate of DMS and a former member of the Dartmouth Medicine Editorial Board, has written many articles for the magazine—including features on the Patient Partnership elective and on health-policy talks at DHMC by the 2004 presidential candidates. She is now a resident in surgery at Cornell's New York Presbyterian Hospital in New York City. She conducted the interviews from which the Q&As on the following pages were adapted this past spring, just before her graduation.
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